aplacetotellit (aplacetotellit) wrote,
aplacetotellit
aplacetotellit

Memories

my eyes teared up as I typed the password to this account and saw it work. God, so many memories. So many people I loved like family before the friendships broke and shit happened and things fell apart and everyone did their own thing.

You know, I can fucking tell who some of you are? I can see it in the writing. And that makes me all twisted up inside and terribly lonely and sad. I miss you guys. I miss the hellhole forums some of us came from. I... God, I fucking hope you guys are all okay, you know? I think about how close my online friendships used to be and I am filled with grief and loss that i let them just... stop.

Though I have a life partner, there is no one in my life I can truly call a close friend. Most of all i need a close female friend again, but... I don't know if that will ever happen.

Heh, I'd love a girlfriend
, but the manipulative, controlling bitch who fucked with me a few months back has put me off the idea. Badly. I... I cared about her. I cared about her enough to let her really, really hurt me.

Sometimes I curse my capacity to love, to care and legitimately give a fuck.

I'm done now.
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